


Unfortunate People with Fortunes

by TaxFraud404



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, Texting, sapphic vibes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24290212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaxFraud404/pseuds/TaxFraud404
Summary: I'm bored and have no ideas for the Red String AU (I'll get to it eventually) so have some random drabbles I thought of while I pulled an all-nighter.
Relationships: Klaus Baudelaire/Duncan Quagmire, Violet Baudelaire/Isadora Quagmire
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	Unfortunate People with Fortunes

**Violet Baudelaire & Isadora Quagmire {2:07 P.M.}:**

**Violet:** hey isa

**Isadora:** hi vi

**Isadora:** what's up?

**Violet:** i haven't seen Klaus all day, have you seen him around?

**Isadora:** no, but that is a coincidence...

**Violet:** how so?

**Isadora:** Dunc's gone too

**Violet:** huh, that's weird

**Isadora:** maybe they went shopping together? we are low on groceries...

**Violet:** maybe, but i'm not entirely convinced

**Violet:** i think they're planning something against us

**Isadora:** why do you think that?

**Violet:** because it's been a while since they tried to set us up on a date again

**Isadora:** maybe they finally found out we're dating? 

**Violet:** nah, doesn't matter how smart our brothers are, they're still really oblivious

**Isadora:** especially when it comes to each other

**Violet:** you right, you right

**Isadora:** hey the group chat is blowing up, i think something's going down

**Unfortunate People with Fortunes {2:14 P.M.}:**

**Klaus:** we're back from the store

**Duncan:** and we bought Cosmic Brownies!!

**Klaus:** Duncan! you weren't supposed to tell them about the Cosmic Brownies!!!

**Duncan:** oops

**Sunny:** did you say,

**Sunny:** COSMIC

**Sunny:** BROWNIES?!

**Violet:** what have you unleashed Klaus and Duncan?

**Isadora:** you better hurry up with those Cosmic Brownies otherwise Sunny's gonna go feral

**Duncan:** on it!

**Violet:** you know what i just realized? 

**Isadora:** what?

**Klaus:** what?

**Violet:** we've had these phones for who knows how long and we have yet to change our profile names to something creative

**Isadora:** true

**Isadora:** i'll go first i guess

**[Isadora** changed their name to **SapphicPoet]**

**Duncan:** wait a minute

**Duncan:** isn't "sapphic" like, 

**Duncan:** lesbian culture or something?

**SapphicPoet:** it is

**SapphicPoet:** and it's kinda the point 

**Duncan:** omg i had no idea! 

**Duncan:** i support you no matter what <3

**SapphicPoet:** thanks dunc <3

**Violet:** i'll go next

**[Violet** changed their name to **Biolet]**

**Klaus:** wait you're bi?

**Biolet:** yeah

**Klaus:** cool, i'm pan

**Duncan:** omg me too!!

**SapphicPoet:** i think all of us are at least a little gay

**SapphicPoet:** although i can't speak for Sunny or Quigley

**Biolet:** yeah, they've been oddly quiet

**Quigley:** sorry i was working

**Quigley:** and since we're all coming out i'm bi as well

**Biolet:** yes! bi gang unite!

**Sunny:** i'll be honest, and say that i'm questioning pan or bi

**Sunny:** but i'm still young and haven't had much experience with romance

**SapphicPoet:** well, are y'all gonna change your names? 

**SapphicPoet:** me and Violet look kinda dumb compared to y'all's names

**Klaus:** you're right

**[Klaus** changed their name to **Everyone]**

**[Duncan** changed their name to **Everyone2]**

**SapphicPoet:** wow, very original Dunc

**Everyone2:** i'm sorry i'm tired and am lacking creative merit

**Everyone:** it's fine

**Everyone:** i don't mind sharing my name with you

**Quigley:** Violet i hope you don't mind but

**[Quigley** changed their name to **Bigley]**

**Biolet:** nah it's cool

**Bigley:** sweet

**[Sunny** changed their name to **???]**

**SapphicPoet:** that's gonna look super weird later on 

**SapphicPoet:** but it's still pretty cool

**Everyone & Everyone2 {2:36 P.M.}:**

**Everyone:** you thinking what i'm thinking?

**Everyone2:** i think so...

**Everyone:** we should totally set Violet and Isadora up again

**Everyone2:** but i thought they were already together?

**Everyone:** what? they're already together? was it because of our plan?

**Everyone2:** idk, maybe?

**Everyone:** we should ask, but i don't wanna be rude and call them out...

**Everyone2:** then we can make a smaller group chat with just us 4

**Everyone:** great idea!

**Biolet & Everyone & Everyone2 & SapphicPoet {2:41 P.M.}:**

**[Everyone** renamed the chat **Are y'all together and i've just been dumb enough not to notice?]**

**SapphicPoet:** uhh

**Biolet:** we can explain

**Everyone:** y'all better start and fast

**Biolet:** should i tell them, Isa? 

**SapphicPoet:** sure, i don't mind

**Biolet:** ok, so when we first met at Prufrock me and Isa developed feelings for one another and those feelings stuck with us all the way up to when we were reunited with one another, and when we got some time alone we confessed (me first) and we started dating not long after that and ever since then we've been dating in secret and didn't know how to tell you guys cuz we weren't sure how you'd react

**Biolet:** then when you both tried setting us up, we talked about coming out to you guys and we were gonna tell you eventually but we weren't sure how we would phrase it

**Everyone2:** ok two things

**Everyone2:** one: how on earth do you type that fast? 

**Everyone2:** two: congrats

**Everyone:** i couldn't have said it better myself

**Biolet:** so wait, you aren't mad we didn't tell you?

**SapphicPoet:** i thought for sure y'all would be at least a little upset...

**Everyone:** ngl, i am a little hurt that you didn't tell us after we first tried setting you two up together

**Everyone:** but i can move past it

**Everyone2:** ditto

**SapphicPoet:** well now that that's out of the way

**SapphicPoet:** how do we tell the others? 

**Biolet:** ...

**Everyone:**...

**Everyone2:** ...

**SapphicPoet:** ugh, i have to do all the hard stuff myself!

**Unfortunate People with Fortunes {2:58 P.M.}:**

**SapphicPoet:** me and Violet are dating

**Bigley:** i already kinda figured that, but cool

**Biolet:** wait, whaaaat?

**???:** yeah, even i could tell that the lingering stares you gave one another were a little to long to be platonic

**Everyone:** so wait, since Duncan knew before me, and y'all already figured it out...

**Everyone:** then i'm the last one to know?!

**Biolet:** time moves fast, little bro, gotta keep up

**Everyone:** don't call me little bro

**Biolet:** why not, little bro? does it make you upset?

**Everyone:** Yes. It does make me upset.

**Everyone2:** uh oh, he's using proper punctuation and capitalization!!!

**SapphicPoet:** Violet, what do you say to spending the next few hours hidden away from your brother? 

**Biolet:** i think i'll have to take you up on that offer, Isa.


End file.
